It was at least over a year ago, but probably even longer. Ryan and I were away traveling, and we had been sending my family pictures of our adventures along the way. And that’s when it came in. My sister had messaged me saying that she loved all of our pictures, “. . .but where are all of the pictures of you and Ryan? I want to see you guys!”
I almost cried right there on the spot. I hadn’t even realized it until that very moment, but at the same time, I immediately knew that something needed to change. I had been spending so much time on our trip working to create the “perfect” content for Instagram, that we had sadly spent less time just enjoying the moments together, and taking pictures of us.
Deep down I had seen this coming for awhile. I had been restless, and really, Instagram did not spark joy for me. It had become about numbers, about analytics, percentages, and about comparing myself to others. I spent more time each day than I would like to admit trying to engage followers, trying to figure out the “right” kind of content, the perfect hashtag or anything else that might help get me more exposure. But that was never the point of any of this. That was never the point of me starting a blog.
When I started my blog, I had never been on any social media channels before. Me starting the blog was simply about sharing small little moments from my life, and nothing more than that. No filters, no edits, no hashtags, and definitely no likes. But somehow at some point, I felt like I “needed” to have a social media presence. And sadly that thought process took me far away from where I first started.
What I knew for sure was that something needed to change. And so began my social media “cleanse.” I closed my Snapchat account that I never posted on, I deleted my Facebook page that I never used, I closed my Twitter account that I maybe only ever tweeted on ten times, and I even closed my Pintrest account which I had purely for personal enjoyment. And when I was done, all that was left was Instagram.
But even after clearing out all of the clutter, I still found myself just as restless. And so I knew that I needed to give thought to closing my Instagram account. But somehow I had convinced myself that my Instagram account and my blog were basically one in the same. And one without the other could mean nothing other than certain doom. On some level I really believed that I needed my Instagram account in order for my blog to be successful.
But thankfully I woke up one morning and remembered exactly who I was. I am not someone who follows the crowd. I am not someone who will limit how their success can be defined or achieved. And I am definitely not someone who is trying to mimic anyone else’s success. So that was it. I wrote one last post, I uninstalled the App, and the rest was history.
And now here I am, more peaceful, more focused and filled with more gratitude than ever. Sometimes for different reasons we veer off of the path that we have set out on, but luckily I found my way back. Just me. Just my blog. My work is merely a reflection of my life, not a consumption of it. And I definitely plan on keeping it that way.