The Truth

Here is the truth that I have been avoiding for, well, years.  I have been really inconsistent with running for a long time.  For some people, inconsistently consistent might be good enough in terms of exercise.  But for me, knowing the reward of being consistent with running, how amazing that feels, and how much easier it is to run when your body is in that pattern. . .well, inconsistency pretty much sucks.

this is where you’ll typically find me, balboa park

For years now, I have weeks where I run several times, and then walk on my off days – and I’ll keep that up for several weeks in a row (or sometimes even months).  But then it happens.  I have an off week where I just don’t do a single thing.  Why?  Good question.  I don’t really know.  I know that I feel better when I’m running, but as most runners know, the struggle is real.

I recently posted a picture to Instagram, with this caption, “I have been having a serious love / hate relationship with running for longer than I can remember.  I love it because of how I feel after, for being able to run outside in such a beautiful city, and because, oddly enough, I enjoy sweating.  But I pretty much hate everything else about the act of running itself.  I have to drag myself out the door, give myself a constant pep talk, and try not to cry when I reach a hill.  I keep telling myself that this will pass. . .but it’s been about 4 years.  Any advice?”

coronado beach is one of my favorite places to run

And to my delight, I got a very supportive response from @mikeswindow, “well you sound like about 70% of the runners out there!  Try finding a group?”

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Mike’s response was a great reminder to me.  Running (or probably any type of physical activity) is never a particularly enjoyable experience, but we do it because of how we feel after.  Because of that post run-high, that feeling like you can do anything.

this view never gets old

But in spite of knowing that feeling, I have consistently been making it my lifestyle choice to make this whole running thing a lot harder on myself by taking weeks off.  And while I do like Mike’s advice to join a group, running has always been such a personal thing for me.  It’s been the area in my life where I can go out by myself, and clear my mind in a judgement-free zone.  No pressure, no competition, just me.  And selfishly, I want to keep it that way.

What I am trying to get at here with this long ramble, is that I want to get back to that feeling that I enjoyed so many years ago.  The ease (or slightly easier feeling) and enjoyment of consistently running.  I mean, none of this is really a surprise to me.  Anything that you want to be truly successful at in life requires time and dedication.  Just like consistency pays off, unfortunately inconsistency does as well.

So I lost my way for a little bit (including this past week), oh well.  Luckily for me, my sneakers and the roads are always happy to welcome me back.